She is a Tom Boy, He is a Sissy. Why is that ok?!
Boy Girl Twins via Deposit Photo
The Tom Boy
We have a little girl in our school that LOVES to climb trees, chase the boys and play pirates. Everyone says how fun she is, what a great little Tom Boy. They indulge in her love for Spiderman and her want of cars. Crafts for Boys and Crafts for Girls. Really is there a difference?
The Sissy
We also have a little boy at our school who LOVES to dress up as Elsa, adores his baby doll and loves playing with the girls. He doesn’t like fighting the boys much. The other boys call him a sissy. They tell him he can’t use the boys’ toilets as he is a GIRL.
I ask you, why is that social acceptable behavior? Why is it ok (if not grand) for a girl to act in (supposedly) boy ish ways – to love trucks, and mud and fights? To prefer pirates over princesses and mermaids? Why is it NOT ok for a boy, to act in a girl ish way?
Where did these 4yrs old boys get the notion that it is wrong for another 4yrs old boy to have other interests? How does a 4 year old boy even know that “other boys” don’t dress up or play with dolls or have tea parties? How does a 4 year old boy even notice this difference, and worse still act on it in a negative way?
It appears that we live in a society, though outwardly equal, in that it is ok for a GIRL TO ASPIRE TO BE A MAN, but it is NOT OK for a BOY TO ASPIRE TO BE A GIRL. Why is our society still implying that the male gender is something better? Why do boys have to stay boys? And why is a kind, caring and nurturing boy not something to aspire to?
Who says that “girl ish things” are for girls only? Don’t father’s change the baby’s nappies these days? Don’t fathers help their children get dressed? Don’t fathers also go and do the shopping and cook the family meals? In my house they do. And in many of my friends’ houses they do.
I am saddened and dismayed about this.. and it is something that I hope to teach my children differently. We can all do anything we want. We can all do supposedly boy ish things and we can all do supposedly girl ish things. There is no “one activity” for one gender and another for another. They both enjoy both equally.
Yes, there is a gender division as a rule.. Boys GENERALLY prefer cars and girls GENERALLY prefer dolls. But the thing to remember, is that when on or the other wants to do something that is GENERALLY speaking different, we let them and support them and accept the fact that we are different.
We live in a modern, tolerant society. My children’s school is brilliant at supporting different cultures, skin tones and social backgrounds. They are great at teaching understanding of disabilities. I really hope that they are able to embrace this difference too.
This boy in our school –
He is a child.
A child who is kind.
A child who is curious.
A child that likes to play.
A child that likes to imagine.
A child that likes to have fun.
A child that likes to learn.
He is a well behaved child.
He is a gorgeous child.
A child that eats and sleeps like every other child.
He is a child growing up.
Don’t take his childhood away, by making him feel bad about being (just a little bit) different.
Different is good. Different should be supported. Different is what makes the world exciting, unique and a wonderful place.
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Totally agree. Cherry has always been really into pink and dolls and as Tiger wants to be just like her he loves to play with them too but he also loves cars and bikes, in fact he’s obsessed with them. The other day she was dressing up as Elsa whilst watching Frozen and he wanted to put a dress on too, he was so excited and it was so sweet and innocent. He’s two and he doesn’t know that society would find it strange for him to do it. I hadn’t ever thought about it in the way you said either, how it’s thought to be a good thing for girls to be tom boys but frowned upon for boys to be ‘girly’. It’s so wrong and so sad. Great post x
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I do hope that your son gets to pursue ALL his interest without any “hassle” from others! So frustrating, isn’t it?!
I think this would be an excellent Question, if it was actually a question.
The key here is 4 year olds, who haven’t learned much about gender roles, or have they.
There is some real science and exploration that needs to be done, but no one wants to do any objective research. Everyone just wants to voice strong opinions about gender Identity without even trying to explore or figure anything out objectively, and call all aposing Ideas racist or wrong, or sick.
Your comment really confuses me. I am not sure what you are trying to say.